When we hear the word “negotiation,” we typically think about two people or two teams of people sitting at a table and about to set the terms for the next big deal around the block – the latest startup mega-round, the advertisement prices of this year’s Super Bowl, etc.
Photo Credit: Unsplash by Sayaka Ganz
Misconception 1: negotiating is formal and for big deals only
What most of us don’t realize is that we are constantly negotiating in the workplace. Every meaningful conversation that results in action by one of the parties entails a negotiation. When a manager agrees on the delivery of a project with a director, there was a negotiation involved. When a UX designer agrees on the delivery of his or her design with a project manager, there was a negotiation involved. When an account manager agrees to talk to a client at a certain time the following week, there was a negotiation involved.
This does not mean that people should treat each negotiation with the same level of focus or attention – stakes determine that – but it is important to be conscious of this fact in order to take advantage of specific negotiation techniques, strategically.
Misconception 2: it is me against you
Most people also think that negotiating requires a winner and a loser. This is not true. A successful negotiation is that in which both parties come to an agreement that both are comfortable with and with clear value addition for them. If this does not happen, it means that the negotiation was poorly managed by the parties, which is a mistake that will come and hunt them in some shape or form.
A buyer that squeezes suppliers will have to deal with unhappy suppliers. A boss who dictates the outcome of every timeline conversation with his or her subordinates will have to deal with unmotivated employees (and detrimental upward reviews).
Me vs. You
On the other hand, a negotiation in which an account manager agrees to a better price in exchange for more favorable terms from her customer is a successful one. Why? Because the levers of negotiation were moved appropriately by both parties in order to achieve a favorable outcome that was acceptable to both.
Negotiations that result in mutual agreements are more likely to lead to more deal-making amongst parties, which has a higher return on investment out of business relationships than negotiations in which any party comes out unhappy.
Misconception 3: negotiations are all about the parties’ ability to influence
Not true. Many of us have the thought that if you are skilled at convincing people, if you are aggressive, if you are a quick thinker, etc. then you are a good negotiator. This is false.
The underlying assumption of this misconception is that we think of negotiations as happening across a table and in one sitting. But, in reality, negotiations typically happen in various events and across various communications media: calls, meetings, emails, text messages, etc.
Although communication and influencing skills are great assets to a successful negotiator, there is more to his or her toolkit. Good negotiators are firstly good information finders – an understanding of the optionality and interests of the other party is key.
Good negotiators are also great listeners, as good listening provides additional information that the negotiator might not be aware was important. Additionally, good listening implies empathy and patience (see Are you listening?) which is a key asset to have in order to achieve a solution that satisfies both parties, not only the negotiator’s side.
Finally, good negotiators are good analytical thinkers. Especially in the case of complex negotiations, there are many levers to be moved and interests to be considered. It is thus paramount that a good negotiator can consider them all, prioritize them according to both sides, and put together packages that make sense. Many times, these packages involve numbers related to different levers of the negotiation, which must be compensated in one way or another. But even if no numbers are involved, an analytical mind is extremely helpful in coming up with a solution that satisfies both parties.
It is time to embrace your daily negotiations, consciously.
At Renspire Insights we work with top-performing clients, helping them uncover and solve their deepest business and human challenges.
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